I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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