Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
