If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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