I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
