She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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