It's like a parade of train wrecks.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
