yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
