I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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