Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
