My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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