I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
