girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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