he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
