these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
