My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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