the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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