why didn't you poke me back
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
