the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
