This is not my ceiling
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
