he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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