I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
