brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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