just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
