they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
