Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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