I could make wine with my vomit
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
