need another drink. this is the easiest way
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
