Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
