false alarm. still invincible.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
