Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
