Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
