I'm drive I can fine osifer
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
