I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
