why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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