do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
