She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
