Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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