Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
