Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the condom got lost in my hair
My cat gives me a boner
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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