How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Even my vagina gasped.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
