We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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