Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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