C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
