fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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