Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
