i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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