Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
