Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
