Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize