You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
